Fake Moral

I have been watching this movie, the impossible the one about the tsunami, and I could not stop crying since the first five minutes. It is this kind of movie which moves everything inside you and it makes you think about everything. It is real, it is happen and we all saw it in the news during almost one week. We saw in live how people where climbing trees trying to hold their life. I think all of us can remember who were with us that day, but maybe if we think about the 11-s we can even remember more. I was about to say that it was the same, when suddenly I don’t have thing so clear as I had on the 11-s.It can be one of the main reason EEUU is one the biggest world potential. The big one attacks for a group of terrorist make more movements on us than one natural disaster that cause more deard. Why? Maybe all countries who were supporting them, shit on their pants seeing that they also were threatened. The big one attack for one country that at that moment for most of us was unrecognized. Our minds are not capable to think that we can be part of a natural disaster, and only those things happen in another part of the world that it is too far from us and cannot contribute us any benefit in the future. It is like that, we are not talking about humanity, and the human being as the important thing, we are talking about business when we talk about world. It is like you have money I can get something for you, I help you, you don’t have money, I cannot get anything for you who care. Money is what is save us for the end of the world, for the natural disasters and whatever. Let´s say that Africa find petrol and that they have more petrol than no one, oh guys be ready to see how every single country is moving their asses to try to get something from then or to say now that they have weapons of mass destruction. Now everybody will want to be friend of Africa. But anyway, what this movie has produce on me one more time is about how I can help but at the same time how we easily forget about these thing and we do not move any finger, we say some beautiful words that make us feel better person. Not only about tsunami, people around the world are suffering any kind of issues, starting from poverty, abuses and we look to another place. We talk about that about five minutes becoming emotional, showing the rest of the people around us we care with this fake moral. The same fake moral I am having now, the one that is making me write about that and I will forget in one hour. We say that it is the culture and the education which make a country better, richer, and safer. Because when the human being have education can move the world. I am sorry if I am disagreeing with that. I am seeing in my country now how politics who are stealing money from the society, who have become rich while all of us we were blind, are not judged, however they get new positions. We have education right? we can see that they are stealing our money, and they do not get judge, how they became rich when the society was in crisis and I do not want to think about when we were wealthy and everybody were dumb. So we have all of that which moves the world, and what we do? Leave the power in people who are laughing about how ignorant and stupid we still are. We are in hands of people who are handling us a puppets, making us thing that we have the power to decide how the world, how our country is going to be. Bullshit! It is still happening, the same that happen since the beginning of the world, but the difference is like people know about that, but look to another place rather to act. Because it is easier look like stupid because anyway no one is reacting. It is not our problem it is always some else fault. Let´s still have this fake moral. That is how we work.

Values

I met this gentleman the other day at work; I call him gentleman because he was. You will know why as soon I start talking about him. He was regular but I never had the chance to have a long conversation with him. So the other day while he was waiting for the business centre to be free, he sat with me in my desk. We started talking about basic things, what was he doing here, what kind of business, etc. Then he got to the point that he was waiting for the computer to be free to send an email to his family, kids and wife and he putted a big smile in his face I could say that even his eyes were shiny. During all this time I know him, he seemed to me a serious business man, maybe because of his moustache, kind of shy but really polite and thankful gentleman. Anyways all the conversation went to the point that he was married for 37 years and he was still in love as the beginning. And believe me when I say that all this words were totally true. His face, his eyes, his lips talked from him, and I could breathe a bit of that love that he was feeling. My parents are also married for so long and it is something that I admire so much. Furthermore he went through to how they met, what she does, where they live, what they have built together, 2 girls and one boy that he had, how they are building their life, about the grandchildren he has. And seriously for one moment I thought that maybe true love, love forever in some cases still alive in my parents and people like him… Working facing guest and man have showed me what is the value that a wife, a kid can have in their life, you are used to have these flirty married man trying to get something with you, or whoever is in the way and they do not mind if next time they are bringing their kids, their wife or the same god. They just want to have someone warming their beds or other areas of their body. Then another day, this gentleman came to me, and we were talking about their kids and he started talking about the youngest one, a girl, casually the same age like me and he was saying what exactly my father say:” She is a good girl, but she is not thinking about boyfriends, she is really picky, all guys have something wrong”. I said to him that I totally understand her and I laugh. He said “you know guys, times have changed so much, I got married with 22 and by 25 I was already father of two kids, and I am not regretting of nothing what I did, I am proud, it is the best choice that I made in my life, and now you guys you do not get married until the 30s and who knows when are you going to be parents, the values have change so much”. And I have this old woman who works with me around the 60s, who was saying that if her husband was still alive she would still sleeping with him and having sex of course. And it is true my parents get married when they were 21 and 25 and after two years they have two kids, they were working, responsible of two kids and paying their own house. And I am 25 and I do not have boyfriend, I do not have my own house and who knows when I am going to be mother. Boyfriend, marriage and kids produced me chills. I am not able to pay my expenses how I am going to pay someone else expenses. And boyfriend, I do not know if I am able to fall in love, to don’t put sense in everything and to allow me to love someone as I love myself and do not think I am weak. Yes, the times have changed, values are not the same, and work is in the first position. But sometimes I would love to believe in those people, who talk about how wonderful is a life together, how love cannot have expired date and that get old together is beautiful. Those people who make me thing that beside all my negative points what in a relationship I am referring, love is real, love exist and I would like to feel that I love someone that much that I do not have enough air.

Foundations

Cuándo a pesar de tener mucha gente alrededor de ti y saber que ellos se preocupan por ti y te quieren, algunas veces te sigues sintiendo sólo. Pretendiendo ser indestructible la mayoría de las veces se hace imposible. Puedes crees que tú estás acostumbrado a no tener amor a tu alrededor y no estoy hablando de la palabra en sí. Estoy hablando de todo lo que esa palabra conlleva, caricias, besos, abrazos, protección, sentirte a salvo…Podría decir que soy tan independiente que puedo vivir sola, mis problemas, mis soluciones. Centrada en mis objetivos dejando otras cosas a parte. Muchas veces cubrimos cosas importantes con un estoy bien. Pero la verdad es que no estás bien y ut puedes seguir mintiéndote a ti mismo, no hablar sobre ello, al final de todo si tu solo hablas contigo mismo es como si las cosas realmente no pasaran. Es entre tú y tu mente. Días como estos días, que no son grises que son rojos, ves como la luz roja se va colando a través de la ventana y sí y hoy el tiempo se parece a tu alma. Está a punto de explotar pero manteniendo la calma, y sin embargo, no puedes evitar pensar en vida, futuro y cosas importantes. Estar lejos de la gente que realmente te preocupa y saber que ellos van a estar ahí todo el tiempo para ti, esos que mueven el mundo para hacerte feliz y si ellos siente que no lo eres, que estás enfermo, ellos pueden sentir tu enfermedad, tú tristeza y tiene el abrazo y la palabra mágica que te hace sentir en paz. Entonces es cuando piensas que quizás estás centrado en algo que quizás no te haga lo suficientemente feliz en un futuro o tal vez sí, pero siempre tendré en mente que pude pasar con mis padres y mi hermana y no lo hice. Porque primero estuve yo y bueno, ellos siempre iban a estar ahí. Y puede haber un día en el que ellos no lo estén ¿Me arrepentiré de no haber pasado la comida de domingo con ellos? La respuesta es absolutamente sí. La muerte ha estado acechando la mayor parte de mi vida, se lo primero que piensas cuando tu pierdes a esa persona, la palabra que tu pudiste decirles y no lo hiciste, el tiempo que pudiste pasar con ellos y no lo hiciste porque siempre hubo algo mejor que hacer en ese momento, y quizás no era el plan más divertido. Quizás esa podría ser la razón por la que yo tengo esa conexión con mi familia, porque se lo que es perder uno de los miembros y como levantarnos todos a una. Porque aunque pretenda ser un gigante ellos saben que soy una hormiga. Céntrate en tus objetivos, pero nunca te olvides de quien tienes alrededor. Ellos son la base de tu casa, sin esa base todo lo que construyas se destruirá.